I was in college at the time. My sophomore year. It was a Friday night and I stayed in. It didn't surprise me that I was being woken up by a potentially drunken roommate. I was very irritated because my roommates knew that I needed to be up early. I flew the covers off and stormed out into the living room expecting to flip out on someone. It was then that my "dream" turned into a real live nightmare...
My good friend and roommate was sitting on our futon couch clutching her throat, struggling to breath (this explains the laughing noise). She had black mascara running down her face as she was crying. Chunks of blonde hair in her hands. I was half asleep when I went out but wide awake at this time. She was so distraught it took her a long time to get the words out when we asked "what happened?!" She only had a matter of seconds to begin and all she had to say was his name. The door to our upper apartment sanctuary was slammed open and up the stairs he came.
He had this blank look on his face. The kind of look that makes you stop in your tracks because you know its danger. I would have given anything to have been able to run out of that house with my friend in tow but we were trapped.
HE was a sweet talking, college basketball "star". He was surrounded by desperate women all of the time. To sum it all up in one word, he was manipulative. And when he drank hard liquor of any sort he was evil.
He stood at the top of the stairs trying to coax her back downstairs. We would not let her go. He did not like that. His response was to punch several holes in our walls. Thankfully his friend was dating our other roommate and we were able to get him out to talk him down. We sat huddled in the bathroom listening to the screams while he was still aggressive to our friend. Phone in hand, wanting to call 911 but trembling so hard, and so fearful of what would happen if we did, that we couldn't. I so wish I could have (please don't judge because until you are in a situation like this you will never know what you will do or how you will react).
His friend got him downstairs where he preceded to destroy our apartment and all that was in it. Our glass kitchen table smashed. Pictures, plants and glass were everywhere. His friend was finally able to settle him down momentarily. We were all able to get out, with her, unnoticed. She was taken to safety and another friend and I snuck back into our apartment. He was gone. We did not fall back asleep the whole night, locked in my bedroom, trembling and crying for fear he may return. I can say that I was fearful for my own life as well as hers.
My mom came at 8:00 that morning. I met her downstairs before she could even come up and told her I wanted to leave right away. I didn't want her to know, yet alone, see what had happened because it would scare her. I was exhausted, scared, angry.
Our other friends had plans for that day. They contacted her mother to meet at a local Starbucks. They told her of the nights events (and MANY others that occurred--just weren't that bad). She was in denial. Had she seen her daughter she would have had a reality check. This plan was done behind our friends back because we knew she needed help and wouldn't ask for it. What we wanted was for him to get out of our home and to get a restraining order for her.
I'm not going to go into the details of that meet up because I don't want to portray her mother in a bad light. She was under his spell like we all were. Nothing was done. No charges were pressed and no restraining order obtained.
He left our house for a few months but ended up sweet talking his way back in. After the events of that fateful night and the forgiveness and acceptance that occurred at this time, I decided to separate myself from it all. I started to spend time with other friends and hardly stayed at my apartment (especially on the weekends). It put a huge strain on our relationships.
Nights like this occurred often afterwards but we were never told of them until she was done with him. After a few years he was arrested and charged with kidnapping (of her) for holding her hostage one night. That was the end of it and the end of him for all that we were concerned.
What happened to said friend now? She shares an incredible son with this man. He may be this boys father but he is not his daddy. That title is held by her incredibly loving and wonderful husband. They live in Germany on a military base for a few more years and life for the three of them couldn't be better.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic violence. PLEASE seek help immediately.
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